Chorus:
    I’m friends with the C#mmonster
    That’s Bunder my Abed,
    Get along with the C#mvoices
    inBside of my Ahead.

    You’re trying to C#msave me;
    Stop Bholding your Abreath.
    And you think I’m C#mcrazy,
    Yeah, Byou think I’m Acrazy.

I wanted the C#mfame, but not the cover of BNewsweek.
Oh, wellA, guess beggars can’t be choosy.
Wanted to reC#mceive attention for my Bmusic,
Wanted to be Aleft alone in public.

Excuse me for wanting my C#mcake and eat it too
And wanBting it both ways.
Fame Amade me a balloon ’cause my ego inflated
When I C#mblew, see, but it was conBfusing
’Cause all I wanted to Ado’s
Be the Bruce Lee of loose-leaf.

AC#mbused ink, Bused it as a tool when I Ablew steam.
Ooh! Hit the lottery, ooh wee,
But C#mwith what I gave up to Bget was bittersweet.
It was likeA winning a huge meet.
Ironic, ’cause I think

C#mI’m getting so huge I need a Bshrink.
I’m beginning to lose sleep. AOne sheep, two sheep…
Going cuckoo C#mand cooky as Kool Keith. B 
But I’m actually weirder than Ayou think ’cause I…

Chorus:
    I’m friends with the C#mmonster
    That’s Bunder my Abed,
    Get along with the C#mvoices
    inBside of my Ahead.

    You’re trying to C#msave me;
    Stop Bholding your Abreath.
    And you think I’m C#mcrazy,
    Yeah, Byou think I’m Acrazy.

Post-chorus:
    Well, that’s nothC#ming.
    Uh, uh-Boh, uh-Aoh,
    Uh, uh-oh, uh-C#moh,
    Uh, uh-Boh, uh-Aoh, oh.

    Well, that’s nothC#ming.
    Uh, uh-Boh, uh-Aoh,
    Uh, uh-oh, uh-C#moh,
    Uh, uh-Boh, uh-Aoh.
    Uh-oh, uh-C#moh.

No, I ain’t much of a C#mpoet
But I know somebody Bonce told me
To seize the Amoment
And don’t squander it, ’Cause you never know
When it C#mall could be over tomorrow.
BSo I keep conjuring.
ASometimes I wonder
Where these thoughts spawn from.

C#m(Yeah, ponder it. And do you Bwant this?
No wonder you Alosing your mind,
The way it wanders.)
Yodel-odel-C#may-ee-hoo.
I think you’ve Bbeen wandering off down
AYonder and stumbled onto Jeff VanVonderen,

C#m’Cause I need an interBventionist
To interAvene between me and this monster
And save me from myC#mself and all this Bconflict,
’Cause the very Athing that I love’s killing me
And I can’t conquer it.

C#mMy OCD’s Bconking me in the head.
AKeep knocking, nobody’s home. I’m sleepwalking.
I’m just reC#mlaying what the Bvoice in my head saying.
Don’t Ashoot the messenger. I’m just friends with the…

Chorus:
    I’m friends with the C#mmonster
    That’s Bunder my Abed,
    Get along with the C#mvoices
    inBside of my Ahead.

    You’re trying to C#msave me;
    Stop Bholding your Abreath.
    And you think I’m C#mcrazy,
    Yeah, Byou think I’m Acrazy.

Post-chorus:
    Well, that’s nothC#ming.
    Uh, uh-Boh, uh-Aoh,
    Uh, uh-oh, uh-C#moh,
    Uh, uh-Boh, uh-Aoh, oh.

    Well, that’s nothC#ming.
    Uh, uh-Boh, uh-Aoh,
    Uh, uh-oh, uh-C#moh,
    Uh, uh-Boh, uh-Aoh.
    Uh-oh, uh-C#moh.

Call me C#mcrazy, but I had this visiBon
One day that AI’ll walk
Amongst you a regular civilian.
But, unC#mtil then,
Drums get Bkilled, and I’m coming straight at AMC’s;
Blood gets spilled. And I

Take it back to the C#mdays that I get on a BDre track.
Give every kid Awho got played at
Pumped up feeling
And shit to C#msay back
To the Bkids who play ’em.
I ain’t Ahere to save the fucking children,

But if one kidC#m out of a hundred milliBon
Who are going through a Astruggle
Feels and relates, that’s great.
It’s C#mpayback, Russell BWilson falling way back
AIn the draft. Turn nothing into something.

C#mStill can make that
Straw Binto gold, chump. I Awill spin
Rumpelstiltskin in a haystack.
MayC#mbe I need a Bstraightjacket. Face Afacts:
I am nuts for realA. But I’m okay with that;
It’s nothing. I’m still friends with the…

Chorus:
    I’m friends with the C#mmonster
    That’s Bunder my Abed,
    Get along with the C#mvoices
    inBside of my Ahead.

    You’re trying to C#msave me;
    Stop Bholding your Abreath.
    And you think I’m C#mcrazy,
    Yeah, Byou think I’m Acrazy.

    I’m friends with the C#mmonster
    That’s Bunder my Abed,
    Get along with the C#mvoices
    inBside of my Ahead.

    You’re trying to C#msave me;
    Stop Bholding your Abreath.
    And you think I’m C#mcrazy,
    Yeah, Byou think I’m Acrazy.

Post-chorus:
    Well, that’s nothC#ming.
    Uh, uh-Boh, uh-Aoh,
    Uh, uh-oh, uh-C#moh,
    Uh, uh-Boh, uh-Aoh, oh.

    Well, that’s nothC#ming.
    Uh, uh-Boh, uh-Aoh,
    Uh, uh-oh, uh-C#moh,
    Uh, uh-Boh, uh-Aoh.
    Uh-oh, uh-C#moh.